Inspiration comes from the most unlikely of places. It can come from reading a new book, having a conversation with a trusted friend, or listening to a song that stokes the fire of your very soul. Then are the times when you take a class at your friend’s gym where the trainer keeps yelling YOU HAVE A REASON FOR BEING HERE! FIND THAT REASON AND DON”T GIVE UP! That’s something that is such a simple mantra but over the course of your day to day life, you tend to forget about what that reason you chose to go through all of this hell in the first place.
If you’ve only read the title of this blog, you can probably guess what my initial reason was for getting into the gym and taking control of my self image. I was not happy with my weight, held onto that reason as hard as I could, and made the necessary changes to stay true to that reason. Then the weight came off, and I got to the weight that I originally thought would be the end game, that if I made it to this weight then a switch would flip and everything would change. But a funny thing happened when I reached that goal weight; I didn’t feel satisfied.
It wasn’t a feeling of dissatisfaction per say. The best way to describe the feeling was that nagging voice in the back of your mind that says “but why didn’t you go further? WHERE’S THE EFFORT DANIEL?!” It felt like I had forgotten how to enjoy the moment and the progress that I have made, all because the number on the scale wasn’t as low as it could be. The battle against my negative body image has been and probably will always be a constant struggle as long as the end goal remains tied exclusively to the scale.
So where does that leave me in terms of Finding My Reason? Well, it’s still a complicated relationship. There are still new target weight goals in mind (hello quest for 180!) but there are new parameters that determine whether success has been achieved or not. New stretch goals include: completing the Spartan Trifecta, completing EVERY OBSTACLE on a Mudder course, signing up and completing Tougher Mudder next year, surviving the Philly Full Marathon, and just living a fuller and healthier life, however that ends up looking like.