Well That Was A Long Strange Trip

There’s a stat out there saying that a large number of people that lose weight wind up putting some of, if not all of it, back on within a few years. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking, “that won’t be me. I can stay on the straight and narrow!” However, weight loss and your relationship with your mental health rarely ever go as planned. 

The Pandemic 15 (Or 25ish)

Going through the Pandemic, I put a decent bit of the weight back on that I lost. Currently sitting around 235-238ish, depending on the time of day I decided to hop on the scale and destroy whatever little self-confidence I had that day. It’s been easy to fall back into old habits and chalk it up to trying to survive. A means of coping with everything that’s been going on this year. But there does come a time where you have to recognize the old habits and coping mechanisms aren’t serving you in the here and now and make a choice. Being 32 years old and saying “I have poor self-control” as you reach for another snack only goes so far before you have to call yourself on it. 

The World Is Opening Back Up. What Now?

Choosing to get back on the weight loss track is easy to say, hard to execute. I know because I’ve said it at least 6 times this past year. Working out at home is nice but gets old after a while. Balancing a new job and getting a workout in before or after work remains a balancing act I’m still figuring out. Running still doesn’t quite have that same pure joy it once did before I survived the marathon. However, the biggest thing remains to find the right balance in my nutrition. 

Finding food I like to cook, making it taste good, cutting carbs, and keeping my sweet tooth in check are all things that I am still learning how to deal with moving forward. The main thing for my goals consists of finding a new reason to keep on making positive changes and taking better care of myself. Moving beyond reasons like “Oh I have races X, Y, and Z coming up that I have to train for.” The Pandemic proved that may not always be the case moving forward. Searching for a reason to run again, pick foods that aren’t overly processed, and making decisions that go beyond simply feeding into some ego trip of athletic performance. 

Is There a Balance to Strike Between Weight Loss and Go Easy On Yourself?

The balance between weight loss and accountability has been the most difficult concept to reconcile. As I attempt to kickstart making better food and health decisions; does it have to be an all-or-nothing proposition? Or is there room in here for a little self-compassion and going easy on yourself? Do you run the risk of your own psyche taking a mile when you give yourself an inch of self-compassion? I’m trying to avoid hyper restrictive diets that lend themselves to the whole yoyo effect with my weight. A solution that enables me to focus on doing the little things every day to reach my goals and build something sustainable is critical. While not dropping the self-doubt and criticism hammer because it was donut day at the office has proved challenging. I think that balance exists, it’s a matter of finding it for myself and not letting the self-doubt take hold of too much real estate. 

I don’t know how often I’ll have something to say or what entirely this is going to be about in the future. It might be a running diary of how I’m reacting to the process, musings on whether I rediscover my love of running again or something else entirely. But I do know this is cathartic on a level and helps get my thoughts on this long road together. So I think you will be hearing from me soon. 

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